


know it all by heart

by silpium



Series: inktober 2019 [22]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22832044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silpium/pseuds/silpium
Summary: So, yeah, Kageyama’s a jerk, but this is worse. Hinata prefers Kageyama being a jerk to whatever this is, this—cold-shoulder business where Kageyama barely talks to Hinata, and, apparently, can’t stand even being touched by him.Hinata thinks it can’t get worse, but then Kageyama starts avoiding him. It’s obvious, because the two of them are attached at the hip and spend more time with one another at school than they do without one another. Kageyama stops eating lunch with him, stops racing him to the gym, stops walking home with him. It’s enough that he gets weird looks from the rest of the team, enough that even Tsukishima seems to know not to comment on whatever it is.Hinata wants to know why. He doesn’t think he did anything in particular, except maybe when he stole Kageyama’s lunch a few weeks ago, but that’s par for the course. Even if that’s it, he can just buy Kageyama a new lunch in return or something—he just wants Kageyama to stop treating him like this, stop making his stomach churn with anxiety and his chest wrench with how empty it is.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: inktober 2019 [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507019
Comments: 11
Kudos: 322





	know it all by heart

**Author's Note:**

> for inktober day #22, "ghost."

Kageyama has been acting weird around Hinata lately. It’s the kind of weird that’s gotten discomfort wedged deep in Hinata’s gut, unease spreading from it, because everything is just _wrong_ , like Hinata’s stepped into some messed up alternate reality.

Here’s the thing: regardless of how the two of them are friends now (because, yes, they’re friends, even though Kageyama vehemently denies that), Kageyama is still a stuck-up jerk. He always has been and probably always will be, as far as Hinata’s concerned. But that’s the whole issue! Kageyama isn’t being a jerk anymore. It’s giving Hinata the creeps.

Hinata’s got a running log of evidence. See scenario one: Hinata had snatched Kageyama’s pork bun right out of his hands and eaten it in one gulp just as Kageyama was going to take a bite. It’d been a long, arduous practice, and Hinata was probably ten times hungrier than Kageyama. Hinata had glanced up to Kageyama after, waiting for the burst of anger, but—there was none. Kageyama hadn’t even scowled at him, much less yelled at him. No, Kageyama just looked at him with this weird, indescribable emotion in his eyes, averting his gaze after a quick second.

It was weird and made Hinata feel just as weird inside.

Anyway, scenario two: in their daily races to the gym, cheating is a common thing. Hinata’s come to expect the assholish shove from Kageyama as Hinata starts to gain on him. Hinata’s pretty sure that Kageyama expects the same thing from him. That’s not to say either of them are thrilled about it—no, Hinata whines to the high heavens whenever Kageyama does that to him, because it’s _unfair, you cheater_ , and Kageyama always has a slew of insults prepared for him when Hinata does it.

So when Kageyama’s about to gain a lead on him and Hinata, predictably, shoves him out of the way, he’s waiting for the yells and curses. He doesn’t get any. He glances behind him—Kageyama’s getting back on course, so he didn’t accidentally kill Kageyama with his brute strength. Even when Hinata wins (definitely due to the cheating, not that he’d admit it), Kageyama doesn’t say a word. He just leans on the gym wall, breathing heavily, staring at the ground.

Why doesn’t he? Why doesn’t he just say something?

Moving onto scenario three: Kageyama’s gotten skittish around Hinata. Hinata’s always been touchy-feely and affectionate. It’s just how he is, just how his family is. Kageyama’s never seemed to really care, though he’s half-heartedly complained a few times about how weird it is. That’s why it stings so much when Kageyama actually _flinches_ when Hinata slaps him on the back and yells “that was great, Kageyama!” after a great set one practice. 

Hinata quickly moves his hand back to his side, as though trying to hide that he was the one who touched Kageyama. Kageyama mutters a “thanks,” but doesn’t react further, repositioning himself on the court as if nothing had happened.

So, yeah, Kageyama’s a jerk, but this is worse. Hinata prefers Kageyama being a jerk to whatever this is, this—cold-shoulder business where Kageyama barely talks to Hinata, and, apparently, can’t stand even being touched by him.

Hinata thinks it can’t get worse, but then Kageyama starts avoiding him. It’s obvious, because the two of them are attached at the hip and spend more time with one another at school than they do without one another. Kageyama stops eating lunch with him, stops racing him to the gym, stops walking home with him. It’s enough that he gets weird looks from the rest of the team, enough that even Tsukishima seems to know not to comment on whatever it is.

Hinata wants to know why. He doesn’t think he did anything in particular, except maybe when he stole Kageyama’s lunch a few weeks ago, but that’s par for the course. Even if that’s it, he can just buy Kageyama a new lunch in return or something—he just wants Kageyama to stop treating him like this, stop making his stomach churn with anxiety and his chest wrench with how empty it is.

So here’s the plan: Kageyama wouldn’t miss practice for the world, even though he’s avoiding Hinata. He’s been ducking out quickly so that Hinata can’t catch up to him, but that just means that Hinata has to be even quicker. That’s easy enough for him.

When it happens, Kageyama is furtively leaving, not even having changed out of his practice clothes. (No wonder he’s been getting out so quickly.) He’s walking quickly, with purpose, out of the gym, and Hinata trails behind him for a while, not wanting to have this conversation right outside of the gym. Eventually, they’re a ways up the road, and Hinata seizes his chance, running up to Kageyama—Kageyama must hear the pounding footsteps, because he turns around and sees him, face going white. Before he even has a chance to react, though, Hinata’s caught up to him, and they’re crashing together down onto the dirt path.

Okay, well, Hinata didn’t quite intend to crash into Kageyama like that, but maybe this’ll get the gravity of the situation across to him. Hinata holds himself up with his arms on either side of Kageyama’s, and Kageyama’s got this confused look on his face that soon turns to a scowl.

“What the _hell_ , Hinata? What’s wrong with you?”

“That! That’s the whole issue! You haven’t talked to me normally like that in weeks! What’s wrong with _you_ , huh?”

Kageyama’s expression morphs into something indescribable. “Are you kidding me? You idiot. You didn’t have to slam me down onto the ground to ask me that—”

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have had to if you weren’t avoiding me! Did you think of that?”

Kageyama closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling, before he opens them again. Hinata feels Kageyama’s breath on his face and realizes just how close they are; it makes his arms tremble ever-so-slightly, but he can’t figure out why. “I’m not avoiding you, Hinata. It’s nothing, okay? Can you let me get up now?”

“No! It’s so obviously something! See, even then—you’ve been acting all nice and sweet and not a jerk for weeks, and I hate it! It has to be something really big if even you could stop being a total meanie.”

Kageyama is silent. Hinata lets it hang in the air, lets himself stare into Kageyama’s eyes—they’re a deep, deep blue, and Hinata finds himself searching them, getting lost in them. “You wouldn’t understand,” Kageyama says, eventually.

“Try me,” Hinata retorts testily.

Kageyama presses his lips into a thin line. Even in the dim light of the street, Hinata can see the way his cheeks become gently red. Hinata is seized with curiosity as his eyes become glued to them—are they as warm as they seem? If Hinata cupped his cheeks, would the warmth bleed through into his hands and the warmth of his hands bleed into Kageyama’s cheeks? Would Kageyama’s cheeks get even redder, even sweeter—

“I like you,” Kageyama says at length. It’s so quiet that Hinata almost misses it.

Hinata blinks. “Well, yeah. You’re my best friend. I would hope you like me. I like you, too.”

Immediately, Hinata knows that was the wrong thing to say with the way disappointment creeps into Kageyama’s eyes. But why?

“Not like that,” Kageyama murmurs gently, as if in defeat. “As in—as in—right now, all I want to do is kiss you.”

Hinata blinks. His heart skips a beat, mouth going dry. “You what?”

Kageyama turns his face to the side, frowning. “Don’t make me say it again. I know you heard me.”

“But we… you…” Hinata grapples for words, yet can’t find them. “You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“And that’s why you—”

“Yes, dumbass.” Annoyance creeps into his voice. “Look, I know you don’t feel the same way. So can you just—get off me, and—”

“Don’t put words into my mouth,” Hinata rebutts. “Let me think about it for a second.”

Kageyama looks at him again. “What are you even talking about?”

“I said I need to think about it! Like—if I feel the same way and stuff.”

“If you have to think about it, then—”

“Kiss me,” Hinata interrupts him, gently. “I wanna see how it feels.”

Kageyama frowns even harder. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity, idiot! I want to see if it… I wanna test it out.”

Kageyama sighs in evident irritation. “Fine.” Then he moves his arms, wrapping them around Hinata’s back, tugging him down gently, more gently than Hinata could have imagined, and Hinata lets him, adjusting his arms for the change. 

Then—Kageyama kisses him. Hinata’s heart startles, then starts beating a mile a minute, threatening to burst right out of his chest. Kageyama’s lips are dry but soft and send shivers down his spine when they move against Hinata’s. It only intensifies when Hinata feels the satisfied little puffs of breath coming out of Kageyama’s nose against his skin, and when Kageyama tightens his hold around Hinata ever-so-slightly, Hinata can’t help but make a little noise of contentment.

So this—this is what it’s like to kiss someone. No, actually—this is what it’s like to kiss Kageyama. There’s none of the domineering anger that Kageyama usually displays, just—gentle, wispy excitement swirling around in his chest. 

Hinata loves it. 

Kageyama moves to lean back, releasing his grip around Hinata, but Hinata doesn’t let him. No, Hinata pulls him right back in and kisses him again, slotting their lips together slightly differently, but just enough that it’s new and even better than before. 

Hinata lets him go after that one, and Kageyama’s head falls back to the ground, breathing heavy with scarlet cheeks. Hinata cements the vision in his memory.

“That—you didn’t have to put so much into that, idiot. It was just—”

Hinata leans on one elbow and moves other hand to Kageyama’s chest, pressing gently, feeling the racing beat of his heart that is far too in-sync with his own. Is that what liking someone is? Is that what Kageyama always feels around him?

If it is, then—“I like you, too,” Hinata says, simply.

Kageyama stares up at him. Hinata stares back. Kageyama’s eyes are searching, but eventually he seems to find whatever it was he was looking for and lets his lips quirk into a disbelieving smile.

Hinata smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! comments, kudos, and concrit are all super appreciated! feel free to hmu on twitter [@hhatsunetsu](https://twitter.com/hhatsunetsu)! i would love to chat with you ;v; have a great day and thanks again for reading!!


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